Jordan and Melissa

Jordan FU####G Zeh, Zehtan, Evil Genius, the Pied Piper of Righteousness.

My porn name is Leroy Audubon. My mafia name is Lightning Fingers. My gangsta name is Crouching Couch Bouncer. My Pirate name is Pirate Benjamin The Pink. My Vampire name is Syus. My pet name is Jiggy Nipples. My Italian name is Ketosoh Silaago. My French name is Pierre Laflume. My Taxi Driver name is :

But who I am? I am a man. A former husband. . A friend to animals on land and at sea.

I am from South Carolina. A handsome devil. A connoisseur of fine wine. I have one of the classiest collections of driftwood art in the world. I love water. Pools, lakes, rivers, but the beach more than anything. Nature drives me nuts. I make pancakes for anyone who asks. I take long walks on the beach late at night completely naked to feel wind everywhere on my body. I could perform CPR and the Hymlich if I needed even though I’ve never done it or never trained. I refuse to be friends with anyone who smokes an E-Cig. I’ve been known to sing out loud at weddings and funerals. I”m a collector of puns. I’m affiliated with at least 300 secret societies , some of them , like the Knights of Thunder would kill me for simply printing their name. I adore tits. I would never be persuaded to try corn without it being on the cob. I’m allergic to fear. Men have fallen in love with me in a sexual way BUT that is OKAY. The best thing the could do is take one of my pictures and have somewhere where it and make love to them because they could never have me. Droopy the cartoon cracks me up everytime I see him. Babies, bless their souls, give me the creeps. I never each chicken on the bone. I think marriage makes people age badly as far as looks. Kids make it even worse. I truly cannot understand how a parent could find anyone under 12 interesting. There is not one single white person on the planet that looks like me. I use the very prestigious shampoo known as Aveda. I’m a history buff. i have hosted may radio shows in Florida/Georgia/South Carolina/Alabama, a podcast, a national syndicated countdown, TV movies and celebrity birthday bases including James Brown’s.